Gearing up for 2010

Christmas was graciously gentle. There really only were a couple instances where I was reminded that we were missing a 10 month old rummaging through presents and the tree. Being "morning" sick through the holidays hasn't helped really either but oh well. Let's just pray that it subsides at some point. I was sick every day until delivery with Sage. The midwife group I see now have been great. When I went in to request Zofran the midwife I saw basically said they would do everything they could to ensure I have the easiest pregnancy they could. I like that. I could go for easy and smooth this time around. I hope everyone's holiday was gentle as well.

We found someone who said they would be honored to cast a statue for Sage. It was kind of funny when I called. I said, "I'm looking for someone to make a statue with my daughter's ashes". It went like this....

"Assets?"

"No, ashes"

"Address?"

"No, ASHES"

"With Access?"

"NO, MADE WITH HER ASHES...you know, REMAINS"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh....ashes"

He was quite lovely about it though and we go down there sometime this week or next to pick out a mold. He assured me that if we can't find one we like they will make something custom. I'm excited and I know we will find the right one. Hopefully it's not an arm and a leg.

Thanks for all the wonderfully kind remarks. It's a sad and comforting to know we are all in this together.

Holidays

The Hospice Share ceremony went really well. I got trough the entire thing without crying or throwing up...a huge accomplishment these days for me. I talked about how we could never imagine getting through losing Sage before and about how we are now part of an exclusive club no one would ever want admission into. I spoke about the friends I have made through Share and the benefit of a therapist who can say "No, you are not insane". It was nice overall.

The holidays are almost upon us and I can't help but think about our heart recipient. We still haven't heard anything from them at all. We got an update from the hospital when he went home in April or so but nothing after that. I just can't imagine not communicating anything at all. I know every family works different and we aren't looking for a "thank you" but something would be nice. We are in contact with the liver recipient regularly and she even rejected Sage's liver and got re-transplanted in October. Still, we chat with her family and love to see her make strides towards going home. She is still part of our family and always will be. The OPO we worked with has little as far as support. They have parties they invite us to and donor family retreats once a year but nothing as far as support groups or outreach especially for pediatric donors. Maybe I'm just too demanding and needy.

We lit a candle for Sage and are looking for someone to make a statue made with Sage's ashes for her birthday. It's ending up harder than we thought.

To everyone, have a wonderful holiday and be gentle with yourselves.