The same but different

With all the newness and insanity of a new baby one might think that I wouldn't have time or energy to think of Sage. How wrong. The stress, lack of sleep, and anxiety have shifted my thoughts of her into high gear. I find myself looking at Eli and the realization that he is not her hits me hard. I wonder if she would be harder or easier than he is..I wonder if I would be as anxious about simple things...I wonder how different it would have been.